Forgiven?
by Brown-eyed Wolf
Summary: I sucked in a deep breath, ready to plunge into the unknown. I didn’t know how she would react, or if she would at all, but I must try." Songfic - Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest KxI Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest


_**A/N: Hey guys! I just needed to get this out. I got the idea from obviously Linkin Park, I was listening to the song, and the story kind of just unfolded. :) Enjoy! **_

**_DISCLAIMER: ok, I kinda forgot this.. opps.. anyway. I DONT OWN TOKYO MEW MEW. IT IS NOT MINE!_**

**_Forgiven?_**

**_By Brown-eyed Wolf_**

_I dreamed I was missing_

_And you were so scared_

_But no one would listen_

'_Cause no one else cared. . . _

Ichigo's face was tear streaked, and her fragile body shock with broken sobs. Her depthless brown eyes, the eyes I loved, were red-rimmed, she had been crying for so long. The night was dark, cold, something to be feared. She was frightened, she looked so alone. How I wanted to help, how I longed to hold her in my arms, to snatch her to my chest and comfort her. Whisper in her ear, tell her I'm alright, I'm fine.

They all pushed her aside, didn't comfort her like they should. They were all busy for her, too preoccupied to take care of her like they should. Could they not see she was broken? That she was scared, trembling? No! They were all selfish, too wrapped up in their own lives to care for her. To love her.

"Kitten," her nickname slipped from his lips as he watched over her, watched her pain. . . pain because of him. It was unbearable, it was torture. His chest ached as if knifes were plunging into its depths, the searing pain was too much to take, and yet he received no rest from the pain. It was relentless, never-ending, unstoppable. **This is what it feels like to hurt the one you love above all others.** He thought pitifully as he clutched his chest, or what was left of his chest. He was more of a floating ghost than flesh and blood. A witness to his loves pain, her sorrow. In a way he felt comforted that she cared for him enough to openly weep, but, that small happiness was drowned out entirely by the dread, the guilt that he was faced with at hurting his one true love.

_After my dreaming_

_I woke with this fear_

_What am I leaving_

_When I'm done here_

I woke with a start, and I was in my bed, my hands gouging holes in the pillow that they had grabbed.

"Oh. . . It was a dream . . ." The pain still was there though, coursing its way through my veins, lighting my limbs on fire. The fear that consumed me was horrible, worse than the nightmare that I had just woken from, and I thought nothing was worse than that. Nothing. That was it, I NEED to see her. There is no question about it, I need to lay my eyes on her, make sure she's ok. Kiss her, tell her how I felt. I don't want her to remember me as the enemy, as the evil villain that she must run from. No, that would not do.

Teleporting straight into her room was all too easy, I had done so before often enough that it was an simple matter. Ichigo, my kitten, was still awake, slaving over some form of report, or whatever else humans did at school. She reacted as always to my presence, something that didn't have me overjoyed.

"Kish!" She shrieked, although it was almost more of a whisper, presumably her parents were asleep, as I had been.

I stared at her, waiting until she calmed down, until she accepted that I was, in fact, there, in the flesh and blood. It took less time than usual.

"What do you want Kish?" She asked a little warily, scared. Slowly she returned to her sitting position on her bed, from which she had jumped from when she noticed I was there.

I smiled, just slightly. Her fear was discontenting, but I could finally say what I had been wanting to for so long. I had finally plucked up the courage, was spurred on by my own fear.

"I have something to tell you. . ." I said, walking to her at a careful pace.

"Wh-what is it. . .?" She asked, seemingly transfixed with my gaze.

_So if you're asking me  
I want you to know  
_

I moved forward gradually, closing the distance between us sickeningly slowly. But I mustn't frighten her more than I had, no, I didn't want her frightened.

"I want you to know Ichigo. . ."

_  
When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

I sucked in a deep breath, ready to plunge into the unknown. I didn't know how she would react, or if she would at all, but I must try.

"I don't want to leave you like this. I don't want you to remember me as your enemy, as a fiend that only plays with you. I don't want to fight with you kitten, no, it's the last thing I want to do. But, I have no choice, I. . ." I struggled to find the words to express all the thoughts that were swirling restlessly in my mind. She interrupted before I'd said all I wanted.

"Kish, but we ARE enemies. . . each protecting our home. Something we care about." She refused to look at my face, and instead focused on the books on her lap.

"Kitten," my voice was filled with yearning, I wanted her to look at me, to see I wasn't lying. Sure enough her chocolate eyes turned to mine. "I care about _you_. Please, just I ask that you try to look past what I am now, to see more than that. Help me show you that there is something worth your love in me. Something that you might miss. . . If I was gone."

_And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest_

"But. . ." she started to protest, gazing at me like I was foolish.

I kneeled down in front of her, grasping her own shaking hands within my own. They were cool to the touch, and I squeezed them unconsciously, to warm them. "Kitten, please listen. I don't want you to think of me with hate. I want to be remembered fondly, I. . . I wish you could love me like I do you. That I could be the one you think about when you are lonely, and need someone. That I could be that one person. . ."

Ichigo was speechless, her mouth slightly parted with shock.

"That _only_ person. . ." I added. She knew what I meant, she now knew how much I loved her. How much I wanted her to love me. It was a hopeless love, unrequited, but at least she knew.

_I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you_

Her hands started to shake within mine, her eyes clouded with unshed tears. I would be strong for her, I would comfort her. She was confused, overwhelmed, and needed someone. I would be that someone, even if she didn't realise it, or consciously want it.

I stood up and sat beside her on her soft bed, allowing her to lean her surprisingly light weight into me. Her hands, which were still shaking slightly, clung onto my shirt, and my arms constricted around her. Unconsciously I leant my chin on her head softly, trying to ease her sobbing, her shaking. Inside I was broken, torn apart by this girl in my arms. She may not hate me as I had thought, but I wasn't foolish enough to believe she loved me, even a fraction of how I loved her.

It was idiotic to fall so hard for a girl, who on every level should be my enemy, my foe. I knew the moment I was lost, the very moment. The second I gazed upon her for the first time, my heart had hammered in my chest, and a grin had pronounced itself on my face. When I stole that very first kiss, well, at that moment I knew I needed her, that I must have her. Naive as I was, I tried to make myself believe she was just an object to me, a toy if you will. But she never was, not ever. Simply by holding the shaking girl in my arms, I was committing treason, but I would do anything to make her smile again. Anything. I was far from the perfect warrior, but then again, so was she. Her shaking form confirmed as much. She was just a girl still, not ready for the battle and turmoil of war, we both weren't.

_  
So if you're asking me  
I want you to know  
_

She stayed in my arms, still sobbing, still clinging to me as if I was her only hope of survival, that she would drown in her own tears if I was not here. Any comfort I may have felt from that was drowned out by her unrelenting sorrow.

"Why. . . why. . . why. . ." she repeated breathlessly into my chest, shaking her head as if she couldn't ignore the thought.

"Why what?" I asked in a whisper, hoping to draw her out.

"Why must I always do this to you," she looked up at me, tears still coursing down her face, drops falling to the bed. Her voice was quivering uncontrollably, "I always hurt you Kish, always. You. . . You don't deserve that. But. . . But. . ." Her sobs cut off her voice again as she once more buried her face in my shirt.

She was feeling guilty, because of me. No, she wouldn't be caused pain by me anymore. "Kitten," I purred gently, coaxing her face up to look at mine, she obliged. I gazed into her deep chocolate eyes, eyes that revealed the depths of her self torture. "I forgive you."

She stared at me hard, like she was afraid I was lying, as if I could even do such a thing to her.

"But," I continued, still staring unashamedly at her porcelain face, "Do you forgive me?"

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

She wouldn't look at me from then on, and tore her gaze from mine. "Kish. . . I've been so horrible to you. Why would you even care about me, even a little. I. . . You deserve better than me." Her voice was quiet, a strangled whisper.

Even though she wouldn't look at me, I talked, I told her what I could. Hopeing it would be enough. "I've hurt you too kitten, I've fought with you. I've even tried. . ." my voice stuck on the word, "to _kill_ you. I've done so much wrong, so much wrong to you. It's not that I deserve better, _you_ do. But, I can't change the past. I can only change the future."

Tucking some hair behind her ear, I whispered gently, "I hope you can forgive me for all the wrong I've done."

_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well_

Her sobbing calmed for the first time that night, her shoulders straightening visably. "Kish," she murmered, her head still bowed. "I. . . I. . .You have to go." She untangled herself from me, pushing herself back against the wall, away from me. I wasn't fooled though, I could still she the pain she kept locked away in her eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"N-nothing." She stammered, a little shocked from my abrupt question.

I emplored her to answer with my eyes, not letting my gaze slide anywhere but her own eyes.

She got up off the bed, and started pacing, still as far away from me as possible. She was restless. If there was one way to bring her back to her senses, to get her to answer me, even if it was in a fit of anger, it was what I was about to do. I stood infront of the pacing girl, blocking her way. She froze as one of my arms wound around her waist, while the other lifted her chin up slightly. I kissed her lips gently, once, twice, three times, and for good measure, a forth. Her arms had wound around my neck, but she was weeping once more.

She started talking at a fast pace, an outburst that I had known was coming. Although what she said shocked me. "_That's_ what's wrong. That I love it when you kiss me so much! Masaya. . . Masaya is my boyfriend, we are. . . are together. But _he_ doesn't make my heart thump like you do. He isn't there when I need him, not. . . not like you. But, I cant! I can't feel like this! I just cant. . ."

"Now you know how I feel kitten." I said in a soft whisper, and her eyes met mine curiously. "Knowing that you shouldn't feel what you feel, but you can't stop yourself. It's slow torture, isn't it?"

"Slow very painful torture," she agreed.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed keep me in your memory_

"What are we going to do?" She asked me softly.

"I'm not sure kitten, but we will work it out. Somehow." I kissed her forehead, "I love you."

She hugged me tighter to her, and whispered something that made my heart beat overtime. "I love you too Kish, I can't pretend I don't anymore."

Her mouth met mine, and we shared out first ever kiss, one that was reciprocated at least. It was a hundred times more satisfying than stolen kisses. When we came apart, I remembered something that still hadn't been resolved.

"So. . . does that mean you forgive me?" I asked tentatively.

She looked up at me with wide, incredulous eyes. Before I could even feel fear from her gaze, fear that she would not pardon me for my 'crimes', she laughed. Laughed for the first time in months, laughed around me. It was such a beautiful sound, like bells chiming, like the ocean moving with the wind, like a chorus of angels singing. She answered, while still laughing quietly, "Yes Kish, yes. Of course I forgive you."

* * *

**A/N: What'd you think? :) Like it, hate it, have no feeling towards it??? Apologize for any spelling errors, but I got this out quick! And yep, it's been done before, over and over and over again. But . . . I really liked this song, wanted to honour it. :) So not original, but hopefully not too bad.**

**Reviews are much appreciated!!!**

**:D**

**As always, from Brown-eyed Wolf!**

***Random Howling***


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